Don't Mess With a Texan

Now there are a few things I have learned living in NYC about well.....the people who live here. I am entertained daily and well sometimes not so entertained.

Now growing up in a small town and I mean small town, you know everyone's business. When there are only 5000 people in your entire town, it's hard not to, because if you don't know the person you know someone who does that is willing to dish the story. My favorite is watching this play out on the subway.

I would say you have the old gossiping lady on the subway, but here in New York it doesn't really matter the age, someone is telling someone else's life story and they know it ain't their room to be telling it. And they are telling it where everyone can hear it. I have learned more about who is having sex with who and who is carrying what's his names baby...and a few things I won't even mention on here.

Hearing the above story isn't that bad and you can handle it. It's, when you have that person that doesn't care if everyone knows their business and is shouting it out, when you wish you hadn't left your ear phones at home. Everyone thinks New Yorkers are just listening to music to kill the time from point A to point B, but really it is so 1) we don't have to talk to one another 2) so tourist won't ask for directions and 3) so we don't have to hear the problems the above mentioned is having. I learned this when I was on my way to work one morning and a lady thought it was appropriate to tell her friend all about the problems she was having, um, we will say downstairs. First of all I don't want to know about women problems, especially rashy, itchy women problems and second I don't want to know about them from a 60+ year old woman. I vomited a bit in my mouth, moved away and purelled myself from head to toe.

Then you have the I am broke; I have no job; I am trying; can you give me some money person. I have at times thought about giving some of them money until I read a report they are making more money than me. I mean RUDE! I work hard for my money. The speeches themselves can vary you will get the short and sweet ones where they know it's a crap game and they just want to get it finished. Then you will have the ones that don't realize that their "I need money" speech shouldn't last longer than one stop.  Two nights ago I had one guy ramble on for a good 10 train stops. He was giving every problem he and I honestly think he pulled out his medical record and was just going down the list. I have nerve damage in my leg, I have a bullet in my ass cheek, I was bit here by a rat (legit could happen) and my mom dropped me as a child I have a dent in my head to prove it.

I like the guys who use the time when the train is crossing the bridge or heading through the tunnel to put on a little show. I mean if you are going to ask for money you might as well work a little for it. If you are wondering what I am talking about just check here. These guys are fun to watch. Some people don't like it but I find it a bit entertaining on a rather boring ride.

I will give you there are tons of hot guys in NYC and this tumblr has decided to document it. I am not upset with them at all.

I have met a lot of people in New York and run into some interesting people and it they are what make NYC an interesting place to be either to live or to visit. But here is where the story brings you to the title of this post. We have an absolutely crazy neighbor. She lives below us on the second floor of a 3 story walk up and well to put it nicely, needs to live some where that she either is the only resident or lives on the top floor. New York is not a place this crazy loon should be living, because she has to deal with people here. I personally have never dealt with her until the other night, but I will give you a bit of her CRAZY so you understand what we are dealing with here.

1. "The Invitation" - I kid you not this woman made a hand drawn invitation for us to join her for wine in her apartment. "Please come and join me for a glass or two of wine in my apartment" it read. Granted that is how you can tell she doesn't really know us because there is not one person in this apartment that could have just one or two glasses of wine. Bitch we are drinking the whole bottle, um did you buy one for yourself?? No? Oh shit. Anyway back to the story. So after the sweet invite it continues on to say "after you have had some wine please allow me to go up to your apartment while you stay in mine and I will show you just how loud things sound down here." Pardon me? Did you just call me fat and say we walk heavy? Because that is what a gay man just heard. RUDE.

2. "The Phantom Walker" - One night while we were all asleep, our roommate John is woken by the door bell and someone banging on the front door. He kinda freaked out thinking there mush have been something wrong, because who tries to breakdown your door at the ass crack of night? So he answers the door to find crazy neighbor there to complain that if we are going to come home late we need not to stomp up the stairs as if we were herding cattle. Well first of all ma'am I am from Texas and we for sure do not herd cattle up stairs, stupid! But as John tried to explain, we were all home and asleep, there was no way we were herding cattle up the steps and she must have been mistaken, to which she did not like being called a liar.

3. "The Alarm" - Next we received a note addressed to my roommate Chase. Dear Chase, could you please not set your alarm to vibrate when it goes off? You don't get up when it goes off and it continually vibrates. I don't have to be up early on certain days and your alarm vibrating is waking me up and causing me to lose sleep. There are a few things wrong with this statement. How does she know which room is Chase's room? She needs something to help her sleep if she is that light of a sleeper. AND SHE IS CRAZY.

4. "The Take Off Your Shoes" - Now this brings us to my encounter. I may or may not have been out with some friends the other night and I may or may not have come in at 445 in the morning. ( don't you judge me, it was Saturday I went for lunch and next thing you know it is 4am SHUT IT ) Anywho, I get home and walk to my room, I counted it, my room is only 5 steps from the front door. I literally had enough time to walk to my room pull off my shoes and walk out of my room when there was a knock at the door and she rang the doorbell. This bitch was ringing the doorbell at 445 in ever loving morning. So I answered it. You never know she may have needed a cup of sugar. I open the door and said "can I help you?" To which I am face to face with a woman who looks like shit, she looks like she has been ridden hard and put up wet. Not kidding y'all. Anyway she looks at me and says "when you come home at 4am can you please take off your shoes?" To which I roll my eyes and shut the door.  The CRAZY maniac pushes my door back open and says "Hey did you hear me?" Well being the southern gentleman I am, I responded rather quickly with, "If you weren't such a crazed lunatic you would notice that I don't have shoes on, as I took them off the minute I walked in the door because they are cute and hurt my feet, Second if you  don't get your ass out of my apartment I will call the cops and if you trek your crazy ass back up here again I will call the cops, now take your ass back to your cave." I think the only thing she heard was the crazy part because well most people call her that. She gasped and tried to come back with something but before she could respond I politely said "And just for annoying me this early in the morning, I will be purchasing tap shoes tomorrow and if you thought it was noisy tonight just wait til I show you my new dance moves GOOD DAY!" and shut the door.

Now y'all you know I would rather walk on my lips than talk bad about someone BUT this cracked glass of crazy needs a hobby. I can tell you, we aren't the lightest footed people, but we aren't jaba the hut either. If we can't walk from our front door to our room with our shoes on there is an issue. This woman is lucky our door are on the inside of them building or I would have left a burning bag of dog shit on her front door step.

But just wanted to let you all know that from now on Monday thru Friday we are having tap dancing lessons in our living room. Everyone is invited and please bring every heavy footed bitch you know!

Bye Y'all!

New York for as big as it is, is so small too. I mean I was having drinks with a friend the other day and in a span of 2 hours 3 people I knew from different stages of my life walked by and chatted. It was crazy.

The job hunt is over for now. I spoke with a recruiter when I first got here who, did really work on anything for me. And then 2 weeks ago, I found another one based on a connection through my friend Logan Hart, (we will get back to him in a bit) and after a week of her working for me, I found a job. I met with the company on Tuesday and they hired me that day, I started on Wednesday and they are already talking about where in the company I will fit better. It's amazing!!! The company is called JKR Global and they are a packaging and branding firm. I am really excited!!

So I have to say the things that have happened to me since I moved here have been craziness. One of my roommates is friends with some well known folks and we have hung out with them. One of which came up for NYC Pride and we had a blast. Some of you may know her from RuPaul's Drag Race. Phoenix from Atlanta, GA. After a cancelled flight on Friday, she arrived with a terror on Saturday! We couldn't go anywhere without every woman on every corner saying something along the lines of "Daaamn girl" or a car passing by saying something the same. It was cracking me up. Then Sunday we headed out again. We did a few bars early and then head to a bar I can't remember the name of, but I will say, Gilbert Hernandez's dream came true. We ended up at some bar having bottle service with so many of the girls from Drag Race, Gilbert couldn't write down the make up tips quick enough. It was ridiculous. All in all, Phoenix is welcome back here anytime she wants to come.

Back to my friend Logan, who is currently living out a dream. About a month after I got here Logan got the call that he was booked for the tour Book of Mormon. he left literally 5 days later and will be in Austin in October and well I am looking to be there too. Can't wait to see a friend doing what he loves!!!

I know this post isn't as fun as the last but give me sometime it will pick back up!!

Just getting started....

Well, I was hoping to do this a little everyday but these first three days have been interesting. So let me catch you up.....

Monday started off pretty early at 4am when Crystal and I ventured off to the airport. Let's just say she is a delight at that time of the morning. LOL. The flight to Chicago wasn't bad, but the 4 hour layover was horrible. I was tired from not being able to sleep and stuck in an airport. I found a spot to eat that had a bar in it. Who knew 9am was a good time for a drink?? One lady sat down beside me and had 3 vodka tonics (ew those are never good at any hour), and then a gentleman sat down and had 3 vodka sodas. I felt out of place with my coke but hey I guess normally I am the one making people feel out of place. But right about that moment I turned and saw a gentleman walking down the terminal like he was making his way down the runway. As he approached, I noticed that his t-shirt and jeans were accompanied by a great pair of stilettos. Once he was close enough I looked at him and said "Great shoes girl," to which I received the biggest wink. When I turned back to the bar where I was sitting the bartender replied "well that was a first for me, but you made that situation less awkward." We chatted for a bit, but I was totally hoping the heels would reappear.

Kitchen and living area with a view of Chase's room

Finding my place was easy. Well easy because I had a black car pick me up and take me. Thank God, because I am sure I would have been lost. Our apartment is super cute. I attached a picture. As soon as my stuff arrives I will update with better pictures.

Interior of Dear Bushwick

 My roommate Chase was great and got me to all the places I needed to go. Target, which by the way is no where close to our place but was a lot of fun. It was a two-story store and when you want to go upstairs, your cart has its own escalator. AMAZING! This was the cheapest trip to Target I have ever had. But with the worlds longest trip to NYC (12 hours) my eating schedule was off and it was time for some food. Chase attempted to get me to Roberta's Pizza but the wait was 1.5 hours and I would have eaten another guest if we waited that long. So off to Dear Bushwick, which ended up being the best choice. You walk into this little quaint restaurant that on normal days has a patio that can seat a number of people, but with the rain this day, it only had a few tables inside. We were 2 of about 10 people. After getting the run down of the menu and the changes, Chase and I both decided on the pork chop with brussel sprouts. We were told it would take 20 mins to cook and the timer started. Now, being from a not so wealthy family, I was thinking pork chop....you know like you get at HEB that is cut slightly thin. After about 30 minutes our chops were on the table and at first I thought we bit off more then we could chew. These chops were bigger than the Friday lunch special at Perry's Steakhouse. (for those that don't know, those are bigger than your head) At first bite we both fell in love with these perfectly made pork chops. When we were done all that was left was the bone. I don't know what they did to make these things so good, but I would pay good money to have another. (and I just might)

The next day started off normal. I got up, met the other roommate John and then headed out to see if I could figure out the subway system. I picked a location and started to make my way there. I chose Times Square because my adopted sister Denise Miller Green wanted some pictures of NYC and I figured that would be ones she would recognize. As I headed there I remembered one of my interns from Equality Texas lived here, so I shot him a text and found out he was heading in the same direction. Getting to Times Square was easy, but I got there quite a bit earlier than Brandon (my old intern) McDaniel. So I walked around and thought I would grab a coke at McDonald's. As I was walking away from the counter I almost got run over by a man on the phone who was explaining to a friend "it is the most glorious coke ever, it's beautiful, but it is $60 an ounce." I might have chuckled a little and he turned to me and said, "oh sorry dude" and I said "no worries." As I was walking away, he turned and said, "but we do have it and it's great!!" I just pointed and said..."I believe you," and got the hell away from him. I didn't want to be panhandled by him.

As I headed to find Brandon, I was approached by so many people, all of whom had something new to say. Hey Mr. Good hair, hey dude like that box necklace, hey guy with the swagger...I mean if they had one more I might have just bought something.

After a cute little lunch with Brandon, I headed home and hung out with the roommates. We decided to make a trip to the store and  got back home to cook dinner and watch a movie. Sounds safe right? Well after the trip to the store we were walking back to the apartment and saw a gentleman kicking his trash cans. Now in my head I knew what he was doing, but then my ER background kicked in and said no maybe he is a bit unstable and is mad at the trashcans. But about that time he kicked the last one and picked up the whole can and two rats, no two big rats, no no two rats that could have kicked a dogs ass ran out from under that last can. I don't think I thought about anything other than pushing everyone down on my way out of that burning movie theatre. When I turned around, Chase and John were hot on my heels. Hun, I can do a lot of things but being a rats next victim is not one of them.  Luckily, we all made it home safe. I washed the day down with a great bottle (yes I said bottle) of wine.

Today was a very easy day, hung my new curtains, met up with one of my favorite New Yorkers Logan Hart and ventured through my hood and found some dinner. New York is new to me, but is not going to get me down. Tomorrow, keep working on conquering the job hunt! Oh and all my belongings arrive!!!!

From Texas to the Big Apple!

Well everyone wants to know why I am moving. You know, I couldn't give you an exact answer, other than I want a change. I have only lived one other place than Texas and it was Traverse City, MI and though I met some great people up there, it wasn't for me. I am now in my 30s and I feel like I don't have anything holding me here in Austin, so I should move and see what happens. I mean I can come home anytime I want to. But if I don't go, I will regret it later in life.

Why NYC?? I have always wanted to live there. My friend Kristin and I were just chatting about this the other day. No I am not going to try and become and actor or whatever. I am just going to see what happens. If you can't find what you are all about in NYC, then you probably can't find it anywhere.

It's funny that when I decided to go, a lot of people thought I was moving because of someone I was dating. But, no, I am going for myself. I mean I love him, I love him with all my heart and I can't imagine my life without him, but he won't be there. And well if it happens that eventually we are in the same city, AMAZING. But I am sure that won't happen for a very long time. What I want for him is happiness. He is the first person I ever fell in love with, ever. I love many friends and ex's but I am completely in love with him. So, whatever he needs to be happy, that is what I want. he deserves it. But as for moving, I am going at this alone. This Texan is heading to the Big Apple!

What I figured I would do is write about all my adventures here. So that hopefully I make you laugh. But who knows. I could make you cry, hell I might even cry. But just know, you are kinda going through this with me. Big Smiles!

I am back.....

I want to apologize for the lack of writing I have been doing in the last year. I have been busy. Yeah, that's it, I have been really really busy!

So, that being said, I promise you to get back to my blogging like Lindsay Lohan gets back to drug habits. Now, if there is something that you think I need to write about, please feel free to message me and let me know. I am always game for new topics. Until then, I will write about things that happen to me.

And you know your comments are what make my day so comment a way. I mean, you can be my little white powder, Lindsay promises she isn't doing.

Dog days of Summer...

So I have a ten year old red heeler and for the most part he is a pretty laid back old man. I mean, come on, in dog years he is 70 years old. I really feel like I should have already gotten him one of those wheelchairs for dogs, you know the ones where their back legs dangle and there are wheels that act as their legs. Yeah I am cruel. But, I have never had a problem with him chewing on something or making a mess inside. But apparently this past Monday Radar (my dog) was pissed about something. I came home to find the blinds in my kitchen, well a bit of a mess.

Now, if I like sunshine on the floor but not the rest of the room, then these blinds will work out REAL well. But since I am someone who needs a full set of blinds, these aren't really going to cut it. But Radar was proud of himself. I mean I walked in the front door and he was ready to show me what he did. "Dad!!! Come here! You have got to see what I did!" was practically coming from his eyes. So when I saw the window, and he saw my face, I have to say he was less than happy with my reaction. I think, "What the Hell??" and "Adoption at the pound" came out of my mouth, and he may not speak english, but I think it translated really well into dog barks. But I cleaned the mess up and we went outside and played with the ball until he could not play any longer. I mean I am going to get any extra energy out of him so this does not happen again.

Well Tuesday rolls around and I was thinking, I did a great thing taking him out and wasting that energy. Funny thing is Radar was thinking something different. I think for him Tuesday stood for two blinds. When I got home that day, he had taken out the two sets of blinds in the living room of my place. So, yeah I now have an apartment that my neighbors think Freddy Krueger visited in a bad 1990's scary movie. There is nothing like your 70 year old dog year dog redecorating your apartment. So bright and filled with sun light

I am all about being green, but there is a limit.

So when it comes to being green, I am all about recycling and keeping my carbon foot print as low as possible. This being said, I was on the Eastside of Austin this past weekend and they took green to a whole new level.

As you can see, in the photo to the right instead of allowing you to flush the urinal they just filled it with ice. To, I am assuming to melt and wash away the nasty?? Not sure, but I can tell you how unsanitary this is. I steered away for this thing all night long, but others were coming out talking about back splash and things of that nature.

I love you hipsters on the Eastside, but I am going to just say that running water has been around for years and I really think we should start using it. I don't know if this works in the summer when it is warmer and the ice melts faster, but in the winter its cold in there and they ice is just chillin with pee in it. EW EW EW. Maybe up the price of the drinks by a quarter and pay to have that running water. ;)

Time to eat........

So recently, I went for a run, and then after the run I took my car in to get an oil change. Usually I would have gone home and changed, but I was near the automotive place and thought it best to go ahead and get it taken care of. So I am in my running clothes, short shorts and all.....I know, I know not cute but hey you can't win them all.

So, while my oil is being changed I decided to walk around the store and grab a few things for the house. Now I had forgotten that I was dressed to impress out on the trail, but not in public. So I am checking out and a rather large lady is behind me in line. I politely smile and nod at her and in no time flat the lady says with a cheeseburger in her thoughts, "Oh just thinking about you working out makes me hungry."

REALLY?!?!?!?! Who says that?? Thinking about you working out makes me hungry? I almost shit myself. I didn't have words to reply, I just looked at her in disgust and walked away. I realized then that the reason she is so fat is because when others are working out and staying fit, she is eating her way through their work out.... Where is Richard Simmons when you need him?? Hell where is Jenny Craig? I would say Weight Watchers, but believe me.....she can see her weight and she is not doing anything about it.

So what do I have to say about all this?? I have a warning for you all.....don't wear your workout clothes in to public places that don't have others wearing the work out attire. Reason being, you could be the reason Americans are getting so fat.

Now, eat a Tic Tac and be happy with that as your meal.

Can you say Mc Clubbin'?

Seriously, at what point in life do you forget about what you are wearing?? Actually, when do you forget that you are in public in something that should have never even been sold to you, or anyone for that matter?

First we will start with the other people in the room. Ok?! The man to the right, under the Mc Clubin' sign, is laughing. I am sure it is not the conversation he is having with the girl at the table with him. Well, unless that conversation has something to do with how hideous this outfit is..... I am just sayin! Now, look at her child, yes i know i said child. I mean her daughter won't even look at her. She is eating her fries and staring at the floor. I mean if my mother would have ever shown up in something like this I would have called child protective services myself and reported the abuse I was getting from other children due to my mothers bad taste.

Now, lets just talk about Ms. Thang herself. One who wears a dress like this anymore?? I am talking about a strapless short tacky dress?? That pattern is on one of my grandmothers MooMoo's!!! Also, where is the rest of this damn dress?? I am not sure how big the picture is going to come out on the blog and exactly how much you can see. But when I pull it up on my comptuer, INAPPROPRIATE!!! There are butt cheeks hanging out. Let me tell you something, I don't wanna see Heidi Klum's cheeks hanging out, much less this hooker with a baby's butt cheeks. And if you could see the hooker shoes, oh, you can just imagine.

So I know I have said this before, but does she not have family that sees her getting ready and then walking out the door?? If anyone in my family attempted to walk out the door in something like this, I would have bitch slapped them and then showed them where to go and change. And I dare the person in my family to come back out in something that wasn't appropriate!!!

So I guess what I am saying is, don't get caught wearing something like this around me or you will get blogged. But seriously, you don't need to be wearing something like that with a child or outside of a hooker club.

R.I.P. Smooth Criminal

I have to say that I am going to miss the King of Pop. Granted, we haven't really seen him in a while, but it was those little out of nowhere crazy stunts that just warmed my heart.

I mean really, what makes your life look normal, wait I know, Michael holding "his" toddler over the edge of some hotel balcony.

Moving on from that, MJ gave us a lot in the music world that you just won't get again. His music videos alone set a standard that most artists will never come close to comparing. I mean, I remember the first time I saw the Thriller video, and I forgot I was watching a music video and thought of it more as a movie. I remember how much of a bad ass I thought MJ was when Beat It came out, and how it made me love his music even more. Then in a time when music videos were slowly starting to go out of date on tv, (ie..Mtv started showing tv shows more than videos) he still came out with great stuff like Black or White and Remember the Time. And paired up with is sister for Scream, which was just amazing.

Now, I know alot of people are wondering why we are making such a big deal over him, with all the alligations of him molesting children. Well, first of all he was aquitted and if it had been some random Joe that was aquitted no one would have said a thing but because he was famous we hold onto it. And two without him, music today would not be the same.

So I say, Michael RIP and I hope you are making the after life a little more rocking! Hey call up Elvis and you two put on a really good concert up there. And to all of those people still talking about the pedifile issues, how about suing the parents for allowing the kids to go over to someones house that was accused of something like that.....I mean really.

Blame it on the Rain!!!!!!

Who misses these two??? Can I get a camera on me while I raise my hand and cry all at the same time????

I mean really. There was a message and some sweet ass dance moves. Not to mention that hair!!!!

I've been searching high, I've been searching low trying to find all the videos from these two just to fill the void. I am sooo glad that youtube has not forgotten their number. They have all the greats. Yeah, that's right I just pulled a infomercial move, but it had to be done.

And really who doesn't lip sync these days? Do I need to bring up Ashley Simpson's incident on SNL? I don't think I do. These guys were great and I wanted more. Well I wish I could get more, one of them has passed and the other is a great porn star, JOKING!! I don't know where the other is but really I wish they would have had more than just a few songs before being outed to the world.

So I am Blaming it on the Rain for the two of them not finishing a great thing....and just to show how much I am crying over it, I have uploaded a picture of me below crying my eyes out.

Now they have just gone to far......

Ok, you know that Abercrombie, Hollister and Ruehl have for a long time, been right there on the edge of all of their photos being very homoerotic. And I have to say that I have never complained once about it, either. I mean really, you should have your gay card revoked if you complain about a lot of hot, half clothed men touching each other in photos...haha.

But today when the female version of me (Kristin), and myself were out shopping at the Domain, we happen to stumble upon this photo at Ruehl. I mean really. Can you make this more obvious about what you are suggesting? For the love. I just lost it when I walked in the door.

I really think that all of the art directors and advertising directors for this company are just in their offices having way to much fun with all this soft core porn. Though, I do have to say that I would love to have their jobs. I would have no problem looking at these boys all day. No ma'am, no sir.

If this man walked in my front door, I can tell you I wouldn't kick him out. But I would totally give him a hot dog.............(wink, wink)

Some things are just funny

Now, I know in watching this video that this kid almost came out of his seat. But I am one mean son of a bitch. I laughed so hard that I almost wet myself. OH LORD!!

I would be the blonde lady in the video. I would. I love the fact that towards the end she looks over and sees him slipping out and laughs harder. I love it. Or the fact that the more he says things at the end the harder she laughs.

Yes, that is me. I am the blonde who laughs at the fat kid almost dying.....Sad I know.

Just when you thought it was safe to walk.

So you know how your parents always tell you to watch where you walk so that you don't get hit by a car?? Well thanks for not warning me about that damn water bottle in the road, Mom!!!!

Now, let me just say that, I made it through other things that day but a step off the sidewalk, not so much.

So this is a week before my 30th birthday and well I am a little disgusted with the situation. (And I would like to mention that this is the only place where I have actually said my age. We will come back to that later.) But back to the foot. I was in Dallas, one of my favorite places to visit and have a great time. This was supposed to be the beginning of a great birthday week. Yes, I said birthday week. When you are this great, you get a week. But, I was out having some fun. I might have had a little to drink when this incident happened, but really I think drunk or sober, my fate was already dealt.

Now, I blame this whole thing on my friend Brent though. If he hadn't been cold, or had just worn my jacket like he had been earlier in the evening, then we wouldn't have ventured out to find a jacket for him to wear. But, I don't hold grudges long so, don't worry Brent you are back on the ok list. Ok, I just lied I do hold grudges for years, but for this, I let it go. Hell, you have to have a funny story every once in awhile in your life. haha.

But, here is what I am wondering. Should I be scared of my birthdays from now on?? I mean last year exactly a week before my birthday I was hit by a drunk driver in my car. Let me tell you I was livid. Especially when the car I got to drive while mine was fixed was a PT Cruiser. How that is comparable to a 2 door Honda Accord I have no idea. I kept asking the rental associate, do I look like a soccer mom? I don't even like children, why do I want room in the car I am driving for them?? I mean really. Do you wanna know how it feels to sport a PT Cruiser around town on your birthday??? Let me see, do you remember in high school when that poor kid pulled up in the car he bought for $200 that was multi-colored and had smoke coming out the back?? Yeah, that is how I felt. Oh shit, wait, I just described myself in high school. I was the one who bought that car. 1988 chevy cavalier!!! We called it rainbow bright, every piece of it was a different color. So thank you drunk guy, and car rental guy for throwing me back to my uncomfortable sophomore year in high school.

But back to what I was wondering. Does this mean that I am going to have some type of bad incident before every birthday?? If so, I quit having birthdays. Ok I am a liar. I love my birthday. But if it means I am going to lose a limb next year, then I will give it up for a year and celebrate some other time. haha.

So if you see me out don't knock me over or I will kick your ass with my crutches.

Why do people say I look like Trainer Bob?

If you have every watched "The Biggest Loser" on NBC, then you know who Trainer Bob or Bob Harper. I have to say he is a very good looking man and Lord knows that I would love to meet him. But I don't think we look alike.

I have heard from a number of people that I look like him and I don't see the resemblance. Funny thing is that I know when someone is going to say it too. I will walk up and whoever it is, will just start with, I don't know if you have heard this before, or Do you know who you look like? And I will of course be nice and say, "No, who is that?" that just brings on, "Trainer Bob." I swear. Honestly if I had a dollar for every time I have heard that, I could take everyone who reads this blog out to dinner.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not offended. And if Bob Harper reads this, one, thank you God for directing him to this page, and two, I would love to meet you. Okay, moving on. Oh wait and three, you are gorgeous. Alright, now moving on. But, like I was saying, I am not offended but he should be. I mean hello, have you seen that body? WOW!!!

So make your judgments all you want. I never said I look like him, other people have made that comment. I just thought I would write a blog about it. So, Yeah!! There!!!

Here is my opinion, if we look alike, he is the more attractive with the looks, and I am the one that got all the humor. What now?

There are times when a bad cry face says it all!!!

So, I have a friend Becca (Box), that I love dearly, and back in college we always discussed cry faces. You know what I am talking about. It is that face you make, just before and sometimes during your session of crying.

Now some peoples cry face is descent and unmemorable, and I hope that is what everyone in the world strives to work towards. But there is that unfortunate group of people that have the worst cry face known to man. You know I think what is happening is while their body is saying cry your eyes out, they are just concentrating on holding it back. Hell if this is what happens when you are holding back, let the fuck go and don't hold back. Some of these faces will make little children freak the fuck out when they see the next person in their life cry. You know some of these faces might make the child scared to cry themselves, knowing that they might look like that.

I have to say that the cry face that I remember first and foremost in my gay man's mind is the beautiful Sally Fields in Steel Magnolias. "I WANNA KNOW WHY?!? WHY??? WHY???" But even then, she pulls off a stunning performance.



The girl in this video below, not only puts the cry face out there, it is over a stupid fire alarm she set off because she wanted to see it snow. She set off a fire alarm with a fire extinguisher. So not only is her cry face haunting little children of Oklahoma (this info retrieved from her hoodie) but she is just plain stupid to boot.

And you wonder why Texans hate Oklahoma.

When is to many to many?

So honestly I try my best not to us public restrooms, because they just don't clean them like they should. But, I was in Dallas a few weeks back and I was at a bar, and well had to pee so I had to use the facilities. Upon doing so, I came across the image to the right and just had to take a picture.

If you notice, they were having an issue because there is a roll missing.

Honestly, are there that many people that come to a bar to do their business? I can't even imagine doing that in a bar. But, nine rolls? Well ten if you count the one missing. Holy hell!!!! I really think that there is something to be said about this. I say cut it down to one roll and leave a note that says, take care of your shit at home. FOR THE LOVE!!!

What is wrong with this? Let me count the ways.........

So I just want to talk about how I am laughing and crying all at the same time. As a gay community are we not fighting enough for respect and to be taken seriously??? And then something like this comes along and as a gay man I have a hard time taking this man seriously.

One what man owns a black onesy? Wait, I mean what man, that isn't a ballet dancer, owns a onesy? More over, what man that size should own a onesy????? I mean really!!! Two, did you notice how serious about this dance this guy is? You know he sat up all night for a few nights just working out the kinks and there are still some kinks, btw.

There is a point in this video where he is sooooo into that dance that the camera is just shaking away. I don't even have to finish this part...............I will let you finish it for yourself.

Now, my question is has Beyonce seen this? What are her thoughts? If I were her, there would be a lawsuit out for fucking up my dance.......

Now, like I said as a gay community we should respect each other, because without respect for each other we will never get respect from the straight community. But with that said, Girl cover up and start walking places.....done.

Oh and here is his competition and I think she might have won this battle!!!!

There are two tragedies in life

There are two tragedies in life,

one is to lose your hearts desire

the other is to gain it.

-Benard Shaw.

You know I think what he is saying, is that it is better to have loved, lost and learned, than to not loved at all. This is not just love in the sense of heart to heart or person to person, but also love in life and what you do.

It is better to have taken the chance and find that it is not what you want. That what you want is what you left behind. Much better than just staying and always wondering. The experience is where you gain the desire. You may gain the comes from the loss. The people with no love in their life are the ones who have not taken the chance or followed the desire.

The same goes for love itself. It is better to have followed your heart and failed than to not have tried at all. You may find that when you follow the desire, and it takes you some where far away, that you lose your chance all together. Upon moving back you may find you never had the chance or that you now have a new one. Either way, the experience was worth having. Because when you lose the challenge on this, when you win the next, the gain is so sweet.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wow, where did this come from? You now see what happens to me when I sit with nothing to do. I found this quote and it struck me. So I sat here tonight thinking about it. There are times I wonder if all of it is worth it and then I realize that without the things I have learned, I wouldn't appreciate love when I finally find it.

Layne

Really do you have to be told not to wear certain things?

Now here is the thing. I know there are days when I wake up and I just don't want to get dressed up or even really think about what to wear. But never, and I mean never do I leave the house with something that will make me look completely like an idiot.

I mean really do you not check this in the mirror? I know that in my bathroom my waist line comes over the sink level so I can see it in the mirror. Now couldn't this lady on the left see that her underwear could be seen through that dress. And if she knew you could see her underwear, why in God's creation would she wear a pair of underwear that have a smiley face on them?

This is a whole new level of white trash. And yes, I know I have been calling them underwear, there is not way in hell those large things could be considered panties. And with those having a smiley face on them, you know she got them there at Wal-Mart because that is the Wal-Mart logo, mascot or whatever you wanna call it.

You know the thing that bothers me about this photo is that you know her family or friends have seen this and no one has told her about it. Even worse is if they did mention it and she continued on with her day with out changing. DAMN WHITE TRASH!!!!