Time to eat........

So recently, I went for a run, and then after the run I took my car in to get an oil change. Usually I would have gone home and changed, but I was near the automotive place and thought it best to go ahead and get it taken care of. So I am in my running clothes, short shorts and all.....I know, I know not cute but hey you can't win them all.

So, while my oil is being changed I decided to walk around the store and grab a few things for the house. Now I had forgotten that I was dressed to impress out on the trail, but not in public. So I am checking out and a rather large lady is behind me in line. I politely smile and nod at her and in no time flat the lady says with a cheeseburger in her thoughts, "Oh just thinking about you working out makes me hungry."

REALLY?!?!?!?! Who says that?? Thinking about you working out makes me hungry? I almost shit myself. I didn't have words to reply, I just looked at her in disgust and walked away. I realized then that the reason she is so fat is because when others are working out and staying fit, she is eating her way through their work out.... Where is Richard Simmons when you need him?? Hell where is Jenny Craig? I would say Weight Watchers, but believe me.....she can see her weight and she is not doing anything about it.

So what do I have to say about all this?? I have a warning for you all.....don't wear your workout clothes in to public places that don't have others wearing the work out attire. Reason being, you could be the reason Americans are getting so fat.

Now, eat a Tic Tac and be happy with that as your meal.

Can you say Mc Clubbin'?

Seriously, at what point in life do you forget about what you are wearing?? Actually, when do you forget that you are in public in something that should have never even been sold to you, or anyone for that matter?

First we will start with the other people in the room. Ok?! The man to the right, under the Mc Clubin' sign, is laughing. I am sure it is not the conversation he is having with the girl at the table with him. Well, unless that conversation has something to do with how hideous this outfit is..... I am just sayin! Now, look at her child, yes i know i said child. I mean her daughter won't even look at her. She is eating her fries and staring at the floor. I mean if my mother would have ever shown up in something like this I would have called child protective services myself and reported the abuse I was getting from other children due to my mothers bad taste.

Now, lets just talk about Ms. Thang herself. One who wears a dress like this anymore?? I am talking about a strapless short tacky dress?? That pattern is on one of my grandmothers MooMoo's!!! Also, where is the rest of this damn dress?? I am not sure how big the picture is going to come out on the blog and exactly how much you can see. But when I pull it up on my comptuer, INAPPROPRIATE!!! There are butt cheeks hanging out. Let me tell you something, I don't wanna see Heidi Klum's cheeks hanging out, much less this hooker with a baby's butt cheeks. And if you could see the hooker shoes, oh, you can just imagine.

So I know I have said this before, but does she not have family that sees her getting ready and then walking out the door?? If anyone in my family attempted to walk out the door in something like this, I would have bitch slapped them and then showed them where to go and change. And I dare the person in my family to come back out in something that wasn't appropriate!!!

So I guess what I am saying is, don't get caught wearing something like this around me or you will get blogged. But seriously, you don't need to be wearing something like that with a child or outside of a hooker club.

R.I.P. Smooth Criminal

I have to say that I am going to miss the King of Pop. Granted, we haven't really seen him in a while, but it was those little out of nowhere crazy stunts that just warmed my heart.

I mean really, what makes your life look normal, wait I know, Michael holding "his" toddler over the edge of some hotel balcony.

Moving on from that, MJ gave us a lot in the music world that you just won't get again. His music videos alone set a standard that most artists will never come close to comparing. I mean, I remember the first time I saw the Thriller video, and I forgot I was watching a music video and thought of it more as a movie. I remember how much of a bad ass I thought MJ was when Beat It came out, and how it made me love his music even more. Then in a time when music videos were slowly starting to go out of date on tv, (ie..Mtv started showing tv shows more than videos) he still came out with great stuff like Black or White and Remember the Time. And paired up with is sister for Scream, which was just amazing.

Now, I know alot of people are wondering why we are making such a big deal over him, with all the alligations of him molesting children. Well, first of all he was aquitted and if it had been some random Joe that was aquitted no one would have said a thing but because he was famous we hold onto it. And two without him, music today would not be the same.

So I say, Michael RIP and I hope you are making the after life a little more rocking! Hey call up Elvis and you two put on a really good concert up there. And to all of those people still talking about the pedifile issues, how about suing the parents for allowing the kids to go over to someones house that was accused of something like that.....I mean really.

Blame it on the Rain!!!!!!

Who misses these two??? Can I get a camera on me while I raise my hand and cry all at the same time????

I mean really. There was a message and some sweet ass dance moves. Not to mention that hair!!!!

I've been searching high, I've been searching low trying to find all the videos from these two just to fill the void. I am sooo glad that youtube has not forgotten their number. They have all the greats. Yeah, that's right I just pulled a infomercial move, but it had to be done.

And really who doesn't lip sync these days? Do I need to bring up Ashley Simpson's incident on SNL? I don't think I do. These guys were great and I wanted more. Well I wish I could get more, one of them has passed and the other is a great porn star, JOKING!! I don't know where the other is but really I wish they would have had more than just a few songs before being outed to the world.

So I am Blaming it on the Rain for the two of them not finishing a great thing....and just to show how much I am crying over it, I have uploaded a picture of me below crying my eyes out.

Now they have just gone to far......

Ok, you know that Abercrombie, Hollister and Ruehl have for a long time, been right there on the edge of all of their photos being very homoerotic. And I have to say that I have never complained once about it, either. I mean really, you should have your gay card revoked if you complain about a lot of hot, half clothed men touching each other in photos...haha.

But today when the female version of me (Kristin), and myself were out shopping at the Domain, we happen to stumble upon this photo at Ruehl. I mean really. Can you make this more obvious about what you are suggesting? For the love. I just lost it when I walked in the door.

I really think that all of the art directors and advertising directors for this company are just in their offices having way to much fun with all this soft core porn. Though, I do have to say that I would love to have their jobs. I would have no problem looking at these boys all day. No ma'am, no sir.

If this man walked in my front door, I can tell you I wouldn't kick him out. But I would totally give him a hot dog.............(wink, wink)

Some things are just funny

Now, I know in watching this video that this kid almost came out of his seat. But I am one mean son of a bitch. I laughed so hard that I almost wet myself. OH LORD!!

I would be the blonde lady in the video. I would. I love the fact that towards the end she looks over and sees him slipping out and laughs harder. I love it. Or the fact that the more he says things at the end the harder she laughs.

Yes, that is me. I am the blonde who laughs at the fat kid almost dying.....Sad I know.

Just when you thought it was safe to walk.

So you know how your parents always tell you to watch where you walk so that you don't get hit by a car?? Well thanks for not warning me about that damn water bottle in the road, Mom!!!!

Now, let me just say that, I made it through other things that day but a step off the sidewalk, not so much.

So this is a week before my 30th birthday and well I am a little disgusted with the situation. (And I would like to mention that this is the only place where I have actually said my age. We will come back to that later.) But back to the foot. I was in Dallas, one of my favorite places to visit and have a great time. This was supposed to be the beginning of a great birthday week. Yes, I said birthday week. When you are this great, you get a week. But, I was out having some fun. I might have had a little to drink when this incident happened, but really I think drunk or sober, my fate was already dealt.

Now, I blame this whole thing on my friend Brent though. If he hadn't been cold, or had just worn my jacket like he had been earlier in the evening, then we wouldn't have ventured out to find a jacket for him to wear. But, I don't hold grudges long so, don't worry Brent you are back on the ok list. Ok, I just lied I do hold grudges for years, but for this, I let it go. Hell, you have to have a funny story every once in awhile in your life. haha.

But, here is what I am wondering. Should I be scared of my birthdays from now on?? I mean last year exactly a week before my birthday I was hit by a drunk driver in my car. Let me tell you I was livid. Especially when the car I got to drive while mine was fixed was a PT Cruiser. How that is comparable to a 2 door Honda Accord I have no idea. I kept asking the rental associate, do I look like a soccer mom? I don't even like children, why do I want room in the car I am driving for them?? I mean really. Do you wanna know how it feels to sport a PT Cruiser around town on your birthday??? Let me see, do you remember in high school when that poor kid pulled up in the car he bought for $200 that was multi-colored and had smoke coming out the back?? Yeah, that is how I felt. Oh shit, wait, I just described myself in high school. I was the one who bought that car. 1988 chevy cavalier!!! We called it rainbow bright, every piece of it was a different color. So thank you drunk guy, and car rental guy for throwing me back to my uncomfortable sophomore year in high school.

But back to what I was wondering. Does this mean that I am going to have some type of bad incident before every birthday?? If so, I quit having birthdays. Ok I am a liar. I love my birthday. But if it means I am going to lose a limb next year, then I will give it up for a year and celebrate some other time. haha.

So if you see me out don't knock me over or I will kick your ass with my crutches.

Why do people say I look like Trainer Bob?

If you have every watched "The Biggest Loser" on NBC, then you know who Trainer Bob or Bob Harper. I have to say he is a very good looking man and Lord knows that I would love to meet him. But I don't think we look alike.

I have heard from a number of people that I look like him and I don't see the resemblance. Funny thing is that I know when someone is going to say it too. I will walk up and whoever it is, will just start with, I don't know if you have heard this before, or Do you know who you look like? And I will of course be nice and say, "No, who is that?" that just brings on, "Trainer Bob." I swear. Honestly if I had a dollar for every time I have heard that, I could take everyone who reads this blog out to dinner.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not offended. And if Bob Harper reads this, one, thank you God for directing him to this page, and two, I would love to meet you. Okay, moving on. Oh wait and three, you are gorgeous. Alright, now moving on. But, like I was saying, I am not offended but he should be. I mean hello, have you seen that body? WOW!!!

So make your judgments all you want. I never said I look like him, other people have made that comment. I just thought I would write a blog about it. So, Yeah!! There!!!

Here is my opinion, if we look alike, he is the more attractive with the looks, and I am the one that got all the humor. What now?

There are times when a bad cry face says it all!!!

So, I have a friend Becca (Box), that I love dearly, and back in college we always discussed cry faces. You know what I am talking about. It is that face you make, just before and sometimes during your session of crying.

Now some peoples cry face is descent and unmemorable, and I hope that is what everyone in the world strives to work towards. But there is that unfortunate group of people that have the worst cry face known to man. You know I think what is happening is while their body is saying cry your eyes out, they are just concentrating on holding it back. Hell if this is what happens when you are holding back, let the fuck go and don't hold back. Some of these faces will make little children freak the fuck out when they see the next person in their life cry. You know some of these faces might make the child scared to cry themselves, knowing that they might look like that.

I have to say that the cry face that I remember first and foremost in my gay man's mind is the beautiful Sally Fields in Steel Magnolias. "I WANNA KNOW WHY?!? WHY??? WHY???" But even then, she pulls off a stunning performance.



The girl in this video below, not only puts the cry face out there, it is over a stupid fire alarm she set off because she wanted to see it snow. She set off a fire alarm with a fire extinguisher. So not only is her cry face haunting little children of Oklahoma (this info retrieved from her hoodie) but she is just plain stupid to boot.

And you wonder why Texans hate Oklahoma.

When is to many to many?

So honestly I try my best not to us public restrooms, because they just don't clean them like they should. But, I was in Dallas a few weeks back and I was at a bar, and well had to pee so I had to use the facilities. Upon doing so, I came across the image to the right and just had to take a picture.

If you notice, they were having an issue because there is a roll missing.

Honestly, are there that many people that come to a bar to do their business? I can't even imagine doing that in a bar. But, nine rolls? Well ten if you count the one missing. Holy hell!!!! I really think that there is something to be said about this. I say cut it down to one roll and leave a note that says, take care of your shit at home. FOR THE LOVE!!!

What is wrong with this? Let me count the ways.........

So I just want to talk about how I am laughing and crying all at the same time. As a gay community are we not fighting enough for respect and to be taken seriously??? And then something like this comes along and as a gay man I have a hard time taking this man seriously.

One what man owns a black onesy? Wait, I mean what man, that isn't a ballet dancer, owns a onesy? More over, what man that size should own a onesy????? I mean really!!! Two, did you notice how serious about this dance this guy is? You know he sat up all night for a few nights just working out the kinks and there are still some kinks, btw.

There is a point in this video where he is sooooo into that dance that the camera is just shaking away. I don't even have to finish this part...............I will let you finish it for yourself.

Now, my question is has Beyonce seen this? What are her thoughts? If I were her, there would be a lawsuit out for fucking up my dance.......

Now, like I said as a gay community we should respect each other, because without respect for each other we will never get respect from the straight community. But with that said, Girl cover up and start walking places.....done.

Oh and here is his competition and I think she might have won this battle!!!!

There are two tragedies in life

There are two tragedies in life,

one is to lose your hearts desire

the other is to gain it.

-Benard Shaw.

You know I think what he is saying, is that it is better to have loved, lost and learned, than to not loved at all. This is not just love in the sense of heart to heart or person to person, but also love in life and what you do.

It is better to have taken the chance and find that it is not what you want. That what you want is what you left behind. Much better than just staying and always wondering. The experience is where you gain the desire. You may gain the comes from the loss. The people with no love in their life are the ones who have not taken the chance or followed the desire.

The same goes for love itself. It is better to have followed your heart and failed than to not have tried at all. You may find that when you follow the desire, and it takes you some where far away, that you lose your chance all together. Upon moving back you may find you never had the chance or that you now have a new one. Either way, the experience was worth having. Because when you lose the challenge on this, when you win the next, the gain is so sweet.

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Wow, where did this come from? You now see what happens to me when I sit with nothing to do. I found this quote and it struck me. So I sat here tonight thinking about it. There are times I wonder if all of it is worth it and then I realize that without the things I have learned, I wouldn't appreciate love when I finally find it.

Layne

Really do you have to be told not to wear certain things?

Now here is the thing. I know there are days when I wake up and I just don't want to get dressed up or even really think about what to wear. But never, and I mean never do I leave the house with something that will make me look completely like an idiot.

I mean really do you not check this in the mirror? I know that in my bathroom my waist line comes over the sink level so I can see it in the mirror. Now couldn't this lady on the left see that her underwear could be seen through that dress. And if she knew you could see her underwear, why in God's creation would she wear a pair of underwear that have a smiley face on them?

This is a whole new level of white trash. And yes, I know I have been calling them underwear, there is not way in hell those large things could be considered panties. And with those having a smiley face on them, you know she got them there at Wal-Mart because that is the Wal-Mart logo, mascot or whatever you wanna call it.

You know the thing that bothers me about this photo is that you know her family or friends have seen this and no one has told her about it. Even worse is if they did mention it and she continued on with her day with out changing. DAMN WHITE TRASH!!!!

That is so gay!!!

You know I don't really get offended when people make stupid comments. Just like the one "That's so Gay", but some people do. I think that faggot is way more insulting. But for those of you who are offended by this phrase, here you go. I absolutely love Wanda!!!!

Just because I love you!!!

So I can't tell you how many times I have wanted to start a blog just to let you fine folks know what I am thinking. So just because I love you, here you go. Now this being the first one, just set back and wait for the best.

I figure, if Kristin can keep us all laughing, then I can joy in the fun.

Enjoy.